Wednesday, February 26, 2014

منقول عن شعري - بفتح الشين

صحوت اليوم على فاجعة! حاولت أن أفهم ما حل به بين ليلة وضحاها...شعري! شعري الذي لطالما تباهيت به بات متبري من "بصلة" رأسي! وعوضا عن تناثره فوق كتفي (كما نص اتفاقنا)، قرر أن يمد بألسنته ليحكي ما يعجز رأسي عن فهمه أحيانا. فقال:

أرادك يا مريم خروفة على شاكلته، تتمشين مختبأة وراء القطيع نحو "مصيركم المحتوم".بس فشرت بنص عينه وعينهم! كنت وما زلت خروفة حرة! تسيرين نحو الوجهة التي تحلو لك، وحدك...إلى أن يأتي الخروف الذي يؤمن بما آمنتم به "سوية"...

مزبوط يا شعري العزيز، سأتمشى أنا وخروفي سوية (أو لحالي، مش فارقة)، بعيدا عن كل القطيع... نحو مصيري الذي لطالما تحدثنا عنه أنا وهو... وبالأخير، ضلّ عنه وعني...

Thursday, February 20, 2014

A Broken Heart's Imagination

Today, I will be sharing a simple thought that occurred to me a week ago while I was sobbing - because you know, my epiphanies only rise when I hit rock bottom!

So my beloved readers, why do we miss people we are no longer in touch with? Why do we keep re-playing everything we shared with them over and over again? Yes, that's right, because with them we created the unforgettable memories. It was them all along that made that cup of coffee tastier, that movie funnier.... With them, we learnt how to love things outside our interests' circle, and with them we learnt how to appreciate the hours that push us closer to the not-so-happy ending.

They left. And although they are physically no longer here with us in any shape or form, we can still imagine them sitting at that specific bench, drinking that karak tea and eating their favourite smoked turkey sandwich. We can still smell them on our cardigans and scarves and  hear them whisper in our ears things that no one else would ever know nor understand.
All these and more could leave one after a breakup with a broken heart and endless (angry and/or sad) tears, I guess.

If we take a step back, just one step back and look at the present picture. Not our picture but theirs. How they look like now, what they do, how far they've become, who they hang out with... We will see no familiar places or faces. At least I know I don't anymore.

Do you see what I see now? They were who they were around us because together we created the perfect combination. And now, that they're sipping their different type of tea at a different place with different people, I can guarantee you that they, themselves are different. They are not the same people you created together, but most importantly, we are not the same people either.
Take another step back and look at yourselves, you will see my fellow heart broken readers that you have evolved. So hold on and embrace whatever the hell is about to come.

Lots of love and support from MC to you.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

"Just make sure he is not already married."



"French manicure and pedicure please," I said with a wide smile.

The salon lady: "But ma'am you always put colourful nailpolish."

"Not this time. This time I'm doing things differently..." I said with an even wider smile.

I was looking forward to my date on Sunday. A date I never thought would happen, not now, not in a million years! We met five/six years ago in a psychology class - he was older. We'd have the occasional greetings and that would be it. Not until recently that we had the guts to take the conversation further. We would talk for couple of days - take a break- then speak again. But our conversations never really went very far from the usual casual ones between two strangers. 

He was the first crush I had after the huge break up I went through, so you can imagine how big of a deal it was for me to open up to someone, this fast. He said all the right words. He had the right manners. He wasn't like all other dates I went with the past year. He wasn't stingy, he didn't ask if I would consider having six abs and he didn't ask me to live in a studio, quit my job and raise his children (yup, been there). Anyways, his boldness was so refreshing. He seemed like he knew what he wanted and said and did the appropriate thing; he asked me out right away. I said yes.

Having a strong relationship with momzy, I told her that I am talking with an old "friend" and that he is extremely "sweet" and "different". She laughed knowing that there was more to it. She then put down the dishes and said as she giggled: "Just make sure he is not already married." So of course, I denied that there was anything happening - cos there wasn't. And so I went to the salon on Friday to do the "necessary".

Friday, just two days before our date, he remembered to share a very important point with me. I was all anxious wanting to know what was wrong - I say wrong because his tone was extremely serious, unlike the usual. I received the message from him and immediately told the salon lady that I have changed my mind. I no longer wanted french manicure and pedicure, I wanted gold. gold nail polish. Oh, and the message said that he really likes me. But it also said -wait for it- that he is E-N-G-A-G-E-D. Yup, engaged. 

I know I know...another experience...another lesson learnt. So, what did I learn other than knowing that mama is a psychic? I learnt that I will always be a sucker for romance. I will always say yes if I feel like I want to. I will never settle. I will never wait. And ok fine, I won't believe a man when he says he is not engaged - because this time, I actually asked and only got the true answer right before my date.

M.C.