Friday, May 24, 2013

The Life I Live

Sometimes, in order for us to initiate a new start, a new routine, a new way of living, we have to disconnect... Disconnect from our day to day reality that is. At least, this is what I knew I needed. I am not talking about an Eat, Pray, Love kind of thing. No, not at all. I didn't want to leave my life behind and wander the world to find my true self, all I needed was a better view to where I am at right now. 

It all started when I decided that I needed to take a break. Where to? When? What from? It just didn't matter. I just knew that I had to go away for a while in order to remember why I am living the current life I chose for myself. 

I travelled. Not to the Maldives, nor to Europe and neither to Sri Lanka, I instead travelled to my home country Lebanon. When I first took the decision, I only had my father in mind. I wanted to see him and I knew that it was going to be a while until he comes back to Abu Dhabi. And so I packed my stuff and travelled. 

When I first arrived to Lebanon and squeezed hugged everyone at the airport - especially baba-, I felt a great relief. I was among family, and in case you don't know this about me (yet), being with my family is the ultimate joy to me. 

But something was different this time. I was walking the same streets, eating at the same restaurants, viewing the same sea and mountains, but something was just different. I related it at first to the people I was with: Rim, Bortoqale (yes, this is a fake name), Henry, Farid, Salma and Aly. The time spent with them was eye opening. The talks we talked, the drinks we drank, the food we ate, the air we shared, all were different. The words that were addressed to me were 'seen' and 'heard' in a different manner. I wouldn't say I was told new things, but they were just told differently within a different atmosphere and most importantly, within a different inner consciousness. 

This is how I disconnected. I saw Lebanon in different eyes. I saw people in different perspectives. I saw myself wanting to come back to Abu Dhabi, not because I wanted to leave the four days spent at Lebanon behind, but because I realised that if it wasn't for the life I am living, I wouldn't have seen nor felt things for the 'first time'.